Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Tale Of Queenie's Somewhat Self-Realisation

good ol’ Queenie is on a Spiritual Journey.

there are plenty plenty plenty of names for God – the name i chose happened to be Krishna.
it kind of chose me.

have a seat, indulge in a biscuit & perk your ears, dearest Euphorian:
here’s the story…

liz [note; lowercase] was a girl.
she was a girl with a mom & a dad & a sister.
they were a family & if there ever were a more oddball combination it would be us.

the mom – virgo; which means modest, shy, meticulous, reliable, practical, diligent, analytical, fussy, worried

the dad – cancer; which means emotional, loving, imaginative, intuitive, shrew, cautious, protective, sympathetic, changeable, moody

the sister – generous, warm-hearted, creative, enthusiastic, broad-minded, expansive, faithful, pompous, patronizing, bossy, dogmatic


me – aquarius: friendly, humanitarian, loyal, honest, inventive, original, independent, intellectual, intractable, contrary, perverse, unpredictable, unemotional, detached

in a sense all these traits makes me all the more ideal for a relatively easy spiritual switch but, believe you me, i had the toughest time finding myself in a setting in which i didn’t feel i belonged.

Self-realisation or God-realisation isn’t for the faint of heart.

mind you, i’m not talking about my earthly family – we had our ups & down like most families do.
well… perhaps more so because we were such an immense astrological clash but… all in all, it was okay.
i used to think the clashes in my family were the cause of my immense unhappiness but, it turned out, it was a deep-seated disgust with the ignorant life i was living.

Queen’s referring to life on Earth – conditioning of the soul, authority, the constant judging, empty sensory pleasures, the never-ending suffering…
yes, okay, life [note; lowercase] is not shit & vomit all the time but, if you think about it, the moments of happiness we do experience are rather short-lived.
that’s why this life is referred to as Maya or Illusion.

you see, we live in a material world because we had a need to experience sensory pleasures.
Krishna, as the ever merciful Supersoul granted us humans exactly what we craved.

there’s a whole system for this.
it’s called Reincarnation – each living entity is granted a body exactly according to its desires at the time of death.
the whole system ranges from the aquatics who are the lowest, to the land lubbers to us.
& then… demigods & THEN Godhead.

there are hellish planets for hellish beings too: ghosts & demons.

“why can’t i experience all these beings, why can’t i see all of them?” i hear you ask?
it’s because our consciousness is limited – we have illusory energy covering our Spiritual Eyes.

as Queen has stated before – human existence is different from regular animal life.
we have a Higher Consciousness & it is intended solely for Spiritual Advancement.
you should read up about it in the Srimad-Bhagavatam or Bhagavad-gita.

so, basically, liz, that teeny weeny girlywhirl, unintelligently thought of half-assed ways to “end it all”.
these were thoughts in ignorance as we all know now that there is no end.
isn’t that uplifting?!
i don’t know about y’all but the very prospect that earth’s semi-radness isn’t the be-all end-all gets me all excited in the bones.

it all changed when my son was born.
he’s like an Angel that watches over Queendom.
he gave Queenie that spiritual kick in the butt she so desperately needed.
& in this completely new period of Queen’s life, she & her humble partner, Koos, embarked on a Mission.
this Mission was & still is to use our human intelligence to elevate our Consciousness to the Highest Degree & to eventually “return back home”.

we’re just a bunch of lost souls looking for our home.
i dare you to challenge me on that little niggle.

for Krishna is the bestest & he’ll give you the opportunity to reach His Platform if he deems you worthy.

everyone’s worthy, of course, but Krishna does not have Time for ignorant souls.
it is, therefore, up to them to use their Time wisely or slip down the ranks of Reincarnation.
if you’re reading this, you’re already deemed worthy enough to try & advance because you’re on the human platform.

remember, you are not your body, dearest Euphorian.
you are a Spiritual Spark & your body is a mere material vehicle.
once your body dies your soul will find another “body/home” until, eventually, it reaches the Ultimate Destination.

isn’t that just grand?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Matter Of NOT Trying To Be Depressed

it’s dark outside.

it’s rainy & a strong wind is slithering between the castles in the mountains.
Queendom is bursting with electric anger & frustration.

you see, Queendom’s weather changes due to the Emotions of The Queen.
Queen’s fucked off.
at Material Life.

to give you a visual: a pen is being cut into paper, the force with which the writer writes [note; lowercase].

Queendom is a place in Liz’s Mind, a Euphorian who upgrades her soul in her mind.
basically, i’m building my Spiritual Abode.
this is the place where Liz feels safe & calm & in control.
many Earthlings often comment on my Spaced-Out-Ness.


i’m in Queendom.
juuust figuring stuff out.

that’s the Occupation of The Queen.
she figures stuff out, or tries to, Day In & Day Out, Forever & a Day.
& whatever she figures out, she shares with Queendom.

it's trial & error [note; lowercase].


it’s all gloomy & everyone seems to be unperturbed by this Sudden Mood falling over Queendom.
Liz’s Moods are literally like Shadows Falling Over Her Consciousness.
like, she can still kiiind of make out what’s going on, but not really so she just stumbles forth, acting irrationally.
it’s all very sad.

Queen is one of those Euphorians who tries to suck it up ‘cause she believes that “almal het hulle kak”.
this, however, is an Ineffective Way of Dealing With Emotions.
holding something in & brewing in its cess pool of shit is majorly unhealthy.

sooo, Queen’s been trying to Deal.
juuust Deal.

it didn’t work out.
Queen flipped out & acted all craaay.
some Euphorians who were in close proximity are still busy replacing windows & shiz because of hurricane gale force winds.

- is jy nog by? -

so, with The Depression Levels Peaking, Queendom was hit with The Proverbial Sack ‘o Shit.

i was totally just recovering from my last bout of hate-fuelled sadness.
nice timing, Universe.
you rock so fucking hard.

all’s starting to look peachy again.
Queen’s tryin’a get her Groove back.

today, while she was Exercising Her Butt Off [codename for: totally smashing my emotions with hard energy. [note: lower case]], she realised that the only way to be truly happy is to Not Give A Fuck About What Anyone Says/Thinks & to Use That Knowledge To Be Your Utmost Self.
she’s starting this business by wearing bright orange lipstick.
suck it, Man.

being depressed is like a fucking huge hellcat floating in your living room.
it gives you the heebie jeebies.

so, you need to fetch a broomstick & hit ‘em in the tummy tum.

daai scum.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Tale of How Queendom Came About

so, y’all know that human film, Inception?
well, that’s pretty much how Queendom came about.

here’s the story, perk your ears;

there was this girl, Liz, who was a human in her then current Cosmic Situation.
she went by her day, as we do.
she ticked off her human achievements – get born, be chill for 7 years, start a grab towards knowledge but with no formulated plan, get confused…


that’s right – Liz was confused as fuck & she didn’t know whichwhatway.

thoughts were thought.
& thoughts became more thoughts.

&… then…

thoughts turned into Dreams.

Liz started building a world in her Mind.

[the Mind is a Transcendental Tool]

Landscapes started shaping – rolling hills of green, littered with flowers, colourful as sin & tall trees creaking with ancient wisdom.

all of a sudden there were footpaths on which horse-driven coaches delivered their guests unto valleys containing waterfalls, caves, streams & ample Mythological Life.

the Inhabitants of Queendom hailed themselves Euphorians, for indeed!
it was true –
Queendom was a place of happiness, unending!

then, of course, there was the mystical, glorious & ever so majestic Castle.

the Castle is a sight to behold –
several pointed towers beam through pale clouds in a still grasp towards the sky,
windows, slim & tinted with a colour like wine, act like eyes, knowing.
the grounds are green & filled with jest & extravagant winged creatures flying by & by.
then, there’s a room, oh so luxurious, where a Queen spends her time overlooking a Paradise, glowing.

make no mistake – every Euphorian living & serving [Serving Others Ensures A Humble Life] in Queendom lives in blissful luxury.
so, thus, the Castle contains many many many a room for Euphorians to exist peacefully & without disturbance.
HOWEVER, should a Euphorian feel so inclined to NOT stay in the Castle, they are toootally welcome as well.
that’s why there are a whole couple of villages within The Woods of Queendom.
each village has a tribe leader kinda guy/girl & Queen trusts them to manage themselves without her worrying too much about them.

i mean, that’s exactly how Queendom WORKS.
everyone functions on the knowledge that every single Euphorian is capable of looking after themselves.
it’s only when people are incapable of looking after themselves that things fuck out.
like, say, don’t operate machinery when you’re intoxicated – it’s fairly obvious.
don’t do it.
&, in Queendom, the Euphorians GET that.

that’s one of the reasons coaches are employed – 1. not to die in a car crash & 2. because it’s much more scenic & chill taking a coach & ultimately, 3. because horses are pretty cool.

there are, however, always a couple of crapheads who have it in their will to contaminate Queendom.
these Ignorant Folk are always captured & promptly hauled away to a place called Ochre Crescent.

Ochre Crescent is a town built in the crater of The Comet That Nearly Fucked Queendom Sideways.
[i’m speaking in metaphors here, people – see if you can figure it out ;]]
so, yes, it’s pretty logical to build a place of complete & utter banishment IN the cause of a previous eff-up.
#seewhatididthere [via @belindametb]

that kinda shit won’t fly in Queendom, so, they get banished.

& Queen won’t bat an eyelid because, honestly, she’s doing her life right now – she really can’t worry her little noggin about folks doing retarded things.

so, ja, that’s how Queendom was found.
Liz touches back on earth as a human from time to time but she sends her regards as she’s perfectly content in Queendom with the Euphorians.

& she loves you & you & you.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Poetry - The Massacre & Street King

because Queen has so many poems locked away & gathering dust, she decided to unveil them to Queendom.
these were written in the period between 2005 - 2007 [in human terms].
every now & then Queen will add two poems to her Inscriptions.
here are the first two:

The Massacre

A trail of red follows the man
Who drags a piece of limp
A bag of eyes are watching
The massacre; the bereavement of an innocent

A hanging in a store
The backroom scented with demise
A laceration, unfathomable
Carved into the flesh

A bare mass of muscle
Skin the swine, he said
A pool of life
It need not be, he said

A customer, gleeful and grinning
Takes a package, vacuum-packed
A butcher, blade still in hand;
‘That’ll be fifty-six ninety’


Street King


The colour of his throne,
The crate which supports his mass


The colour of his vacant eyes

The blind chap enthralls passersby
With cries of concord;
A trickle of content
For the unsatisfied core

It jingles in our ears
But affects our sight

And this,
Is how we become his minions,
And he remains the king of his empire;
A can of coins clasped in his hand.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Adventure of Oppikoppi AKA The Happy Blur

Super Evil.
the track playing in Queendom at the mo & pretty much how the Day went down here too.

you see, Queendom & The Euphorians visited the much famed Oppikoppi this past Week-End & the whole of Paradise is more or less paralysed &or brainless because of the 4 Day Extravaganza.
it’s The Day After Koppi.

it started out with an airport visitationstation to collect @adoneandthesky’s bro, Eduan.

[ag fok, daar mors ek tee op my keyboard.]

insert Aandklas & a couple of beers & Queen runs into Hanu.
this was radical because we had confirmed to meet at koppi & hadn’t anticipated to see each other so soon.
Queen was once an avid myspace user [abuser] & that’s where they “met” & became pseudo [online] buddies.
it’s kind of awesome to know him IRL too.

he also saved me as “Liz MAL” on his phone.
i’m still not quite sure what to think about that.
side eye, Hanu, side eye.

so, anyway, frick!

we roll down the highway, Pie & Play & various other foodstuffs/campshit in our car vicinity.

We Arrive.
in the process of finding a spot/setting up our tent, Queen was called Lady Gaga [lady gawgaw in some accents – note; lower case] dos times.
i’ll take it.

Right Off The Bat The Drama Llama paid Queendom a visit.
what a harsh to my mellow.
we won’t go into that.

after all the commotion Queen was pretty much drunk/high/wired from start to finish.
tbh, i really can’t remember much of the first day except running into an extremely happy @NatalieRoos every now & then [winkwink] & laughing my Proverbial Ass off with Judy & Korean [Karien] in a hammock.
everything was funny as fuck & a paradise-esque blur, basically.

@belindmetb made it pretty apparent after the first night that #tRons was about to consume our every being.
& wasn’t THAT the truth!

after consuming the entire globe’s Red Bull & Tequila, Queen didn’t #tRons… she WAS tRonsed.

the first brainmelt/bodyassault was provided by @HAEZER.
a shitload of epilepsy inducing strobes & craycray electro madness.
weirdly enough, Judy & i were right in front with our tRonsfists air-punching & completely missed @adoneandthesky & @belindametb who were, apparently, right in front too.

another EPIC highlight was experiencing @phfat for the second time evhur.
having only seen them twice Queen can’t say she was disappointed & tbh, she probs won’t evhur be.
These Three Guys, Mike, Disco & Narch are The Cream of the Crop in SA & Queen’s pretty effing sure the rest of Earth will agree.

other rad-io acts i managed to catch was Gemma Ray, Mind Assault, @dyof & The Narrow & Dead Alphabet.

in between Judy & i spoke to a so-called “wise-guy/photog” but i managed to beat him with my wise-ness & i wasn’t even trying.
we spoke to sooo many effing drunk randoms & got to know their backgrounds.
Filed Under – Useless Fucking Info.

i failed on Billy Talent because by Day 3 my body felt like it had been hit with a million hammers with spikes WITH spikes all at once.
according to a Couple of Euphorians i didn’t miss much.

i also took mid-day naps much to the dislike of Two Very Drunk & Possibly High Euphorians.
the one’s name was Tert [no lies] & the other’s name was Adriaan a.k.a. AquaMan.
they took it upon themselves to keep me awake by talking all kinds of funny shit.
Queen didn’t mind – they were pretty cool.

every single Euphorian known to man also managed to point out that My Tent was falling apart.
my excuse was that “drunk people keep falling over it at night – it’s not my fault.”
that excuse didn’t work.
Queen was lazy as effffff to fix it & by Monday Morning she woke up with a tent on her face.
i reeeally walked into that one.

all in all it was a pretty sweet experience – the only downside was NOT BEING ABLE TO BREATHE for the duration of it.
yes, Queen’s The Dork With Allergies.

Queen’s back in her Castle & Life’s Okay – we’re not feeling quite hundreds yet.
glad that it’s over.

sue me.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Matter of Humans & Dead Dogs

“who’s first words were ‘can i take your order?’”
that’s Patrick asking Spongebob those very words.
it’s actually quite relevant to this Inscription because today The Queen’s sitting on Her Balcony sipping on a White Russian & Contemplating things.
things which are “humans & dead dogs”.

she’s listening to Poeticat, an “experimental/acoustic/lyrical” outfit.
basically like poetry being “rapped” over folky melodies.
it’s Beautiful & it’s possibly also influencing The Queen’s State Of Mind.
P.S. Catherine Martindale, you’re incredibly glorious in Doing What You Do.
an example of an Effing Cool Euphorian.
take notes, Children.

because, you see The Queen learns constantly.
sometimes She thinks she knows everything but She hardly knows Everything.
you know? ;]
it’s when you think you know Everything that you get Smacked At The Back Of The Head.
it’s when you think you know everything that you Slip Down Into Ignorance.

so, sometimes, that’s what happens to The Queen.
& it happens to every single Euphorian living in Queendom too, because, after all, when all Alternate Dimensions are removed we are… human [note; lower case] in This Life.

but that’s what being Human [note; uppercase] means.
there are animals & then there are Humans.
what’s the difference?
a Higher Consciousness.
so, wouldn’t you say that having a Higher Consciousness means that you as Human have an Obligation to transcend all animalistic behaviour [note; lower case] which concerns responding to the gross senses.

we also have the capacity to Enjoy on Another Level.

so, that’s what The Queen wants out of This Life – she wants to Enjoy & be Carefree of Woes which means that she has to Transcend Being Attached To Situations, People & Emotions.
funnily enough, She’s not attached to Condition Of Life but obviously prefers The High Life simply because why the hell not?
there’s no point in playing the martyr.

oh goodness.
I’m just having myself a Boards Of Canada Moment.
kay. done.


that’s what causes The Queen’s utmost Downfall Via Ignorance – Attachment To Situations, People & Emotions.

these past couple of days – I don’t know how long it’s been – i’ve kind of been learning hard Lessons.
i mean, i’m not gonna go into them but it’s mostly about how i feel/interact/respond to Situations, People & Emotions.
my Karmic Path is The Way Of Release.
that is the Lesson i have to Learn & Apply in order to transcend material existence [note; lower case].
being weighed down is like having a dead dog on your shoulder talking to you.
you know it’s a load of shit but you listen anyway.

so, basically The Queen’s been Getting Rid Of Baggage.
She was locked up in The Library of Her Mind so that she could Focus & Bin Unwanted Thoughts & Memories.
well, it’s not so much binning as it is Accepting & Letting Go.
you know?
& while i might have been absent i sure as hell can tell you that i am a happier, peaceful person.
Queendom is Green & Sunny.

by Letting Go i’m literally lifting boulders off my Soul.
i feel lighter.
but i am learning – i’m not even close to being my utmost blissful self but i know how to get there, at least.
& that’s what keeps The Queen & Queendom & every Inhabitant going…
the mere idea that Queendom exists in a world free of Material Restraints.
& it’s always a party there.

Monday, May 31, 2010

The Matter of Modes & The Adventure Of Monkey Island

it’s approximately in the vicinity of 4 o’ clock in the “afternoon” time-wise in Queendom.
The Soundtrack for this Inscription is Imogen Heap, Iron & Wine, Kate Havnevik & Pinback.
all these Bands/Musicianz are Quirky-Awesome-Chillvibez, a Music Genre in Queendom.

Queendom went through a bit of a dip [note; lower case] these past two weeks.
it’s because of The Queen – if the Queen lacks Emotional Swag, the whole of Queendom suffers because of it.
it’s pretty logical.
so, basically, The Queen experienced a Dip in Consciousness & slipped under The Control of The Modes Of Nature.
when this happens you have to submit to Karma, the no. uno Key Operator via The Modes of Nature, namely, Goodness, Passion & Ignorance.

luckily! The Queen only got entangled by the Karmic Repercussions of The Mode Of Passion.
one should nevereverever aspire to be under the Influence Of The Mode Of Ignorance.
this mode Illusions one COMPLETELY – like The Clouds covering Our Eyes & thus making us Not See The Sun but The Sun is Always Present whether you can See It Or Not.
like, not “getting” The Bigger Picture.

anyway, the point is:
The Queen was low on Energy, Inspiration, Transportation, Interest.
she let these Material Anxieties affect her Consciousness & quite honestly felt like a bit of a Demon.

Demons are entities operating IN FULL IGNORANCE.

it was quite kak.

BUT WHATEVZ, right?!

insert The Adventure of Monkey Island.
The Architecture set The Mood.
@adoneandthesky, @iaminsert, @setheron, ENA, JP & i entered a World of Theatrics & Musicalities.
filled with a sense of Wonder & Anticipation they set off on their Adventure…

The Queen almost felt At Home because of the SHEER epicness of this gorge Building.
lovely Staircases, high Ceilings, &… an Amphitheatre!
goodness me! it was like Falling In Love experiencing This Place via Space.
i saw past Its dilapidated Ceilings & Its desecrated Stage…
The Queen, instead, experienced, song, dance, audiences filling seats, actors pretending, applause, curtains…

this is why i, The Queen, have always felt that i might’ve been Royalty in past human lives [note; lower case].
i literally, visually, embark on this Journey when i experience anything remotely Belonging To That Era.


we climb some stairs by playing Follow The Leader in The Dark.
The Queen is pretty blind when it comes to The Dark &things.

we proceeded to The Rooftop.
here @adoneandthesky, @iaminsert & a couple of Other Euphorians viewed Church Square from a whole other… almost “secret” Angle of Elevation.
The Queen was hiiigh in the Sky, once again, & this time it was Pattern Mania.
the cracks in the concrete, the repetition of the long, rectangular windows, the perfect placement of every street light.
it was Magical.

we while our Time away here, Taking Pictures in the Sky & Blazing In The Crisp Cold.

after this

we happen upon Festivities Galore – Mr. Sakitumi, Desmond & The Tutus [@setheron TOTALS won the bass guitar given away in an EPIC ching chong cha match] &…
this is a band hailing from Cape Town in human terms [note; lower case].
description – bass, rap, experimental & in their own words “psychodelic”.
i find their custom word most descriptive because this is what happened to Queen Lizdom under the chaoticyetchill, voodoo-esque, inyourface spell of P.H.fat:

initially i was like… “kay, i’ve never experienced these dudes. let me give ‘em a chance.”
& chance-worthy they are indeed!
before The Queen knew it she & all the other Euphorians were reduced to bodies Droppin’ It & Keepin’ It Sick.
“I even recall PJ KOTZE stating “dis fokken AWESOME!!!”.
their Rhymes are impeccable, flowing easily & meshing at just the right level of grooving… in a Thug way, of course.
their beats stir your soul & almost “commands” your body, dictating its movements.
they. literally. blew. my. fuckin’. mind.
another factor which definitely enhanced The Queen’s experience of these Talented Euphorians was being Tuned In at exactly the right Frequency of Space.
here’s a fuckin’ Low Five [‘cause that’s how imagine P.H.fat rolls] for you Dudes.
you deserve World Fame.
& you need to gig with Black Pimp’n Jesus.

it was a Night Worth Remembering.
liefde vir jou, nag!

meanwhile, in Real Time, Queendom has opened its Doors to HANNAH FINN, an American from The San Francisco Area.
in just Two Days JUDY makes her Presence Known.
it’s gonna be a darling Winter in Queendom…

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Tale of The Oh So Mysterious @SVRPRWN

Brian Eno provides the soundtrack for This Inscription.
The Queen is feeling Ambience more than anything these past Few Days.
perhaps this is because she’s really at peace within Her Soul.
being happy Soul-Wise is very NB! because otherwise… you’re just a physical body.
& that’s exactly what you are when you’re dead.
that’s super sucky.
SO, basically, this album makes The Queen feel calm&collected in a Grimm Brothers Fairytale Kinda Way.

it’s a bit eerie… i reckon it’s one of Eno’s darker Albums.
said Album’s Title is The Shutov Assembly.
it’s effing good.

The Queen is merciful to her Loyal Euphorians – she relieves them from mediocrity by sharing Her Taste In SoundWavez.
please, Euphorians, do not be fooled by that human south african channel, mk [note, lower case], for it is QUITE shit.

NOW! let’s get down to matters at this Tea&Cake meeting, This Afternoon:

The Tale of The Oh So Mysterious @SVRPRWN.

who is @SVRPRWN?
no one knows – not even Alleged Acquaintances.
Ooooooooh Severe!

Once Upon A Time, an anon logged onto THE WEBBERNET.
more importantly, however, this anon Signed Up with The Largest Chatroom in The World.
this anon was @SVRPRWN – initially displaying a “profile pic” of some sturdy lookin’ fellow.
this “profile pic” was replaced by the one we all know & love.
or should i say “<3”.

see, this is what we DO know about @SVRPRWN:
he/she/it is exactly that – a hermz in cyberspace w/ 1 bewb 2 provz it.
@SVRPRWN speaks a cyber language that is “mad kiffz” & characterised by the frequent usage of “z’s” & cutting words short.

this is actually very intelligent because whilst some Tweeps might get aggro because of the Vandalising Of Language, the joke’s really on them:
you rarely have enough characters to say exactly what you want, right?
@SVRPRWN has, thus, transcended Twitter by flipping the 140 Character Maximum the proverbial bird.

another factor which gives @SVRPRWN hermz’s [a pronoun used for hermz especially, in Queendom] Edge is hermz’s speaking to celebs [note, lower case] like their hermz’s bud.
this, of course, is not an act & @SVRPRWN is actually BFFs with most of them anyway.
@SVRPRWN humours hermz’s fans by giving them a glimpse of the VIP life.
it’s quite amazeballs & such.
a very Gracious Soul, this Euphorian @SVRPRWN.

The Queen is also very impressed by this Euphorian’s Taste In Chillwayvez.
the kind of Chillwayvez an entity listens to can convey a lot about his/her/it’s Soul.
like, if you listen to something kak… The Queen will have her reservations about you.
it’s not judging.
it’s common sense.
Chillwayvez is Part of The Universal Form – like, you either flow with It, or you keep on making a racket to your own beat.
the latter is Not Cool.

anway, so, @SVRPRWN also “gets” the Zombie Apocalypse, “Chillin’ Hard W/ Gurl Broz/Broz”, MJ, Gagz, &&& That Human Life Ain’t That Serious.

thus, The Queen has come to the conclusion that @SVRPRWN ought to be made Honorary Hermz in Queendom.
it’s an Exclusive Position & One Of A Kind as there can only be one.
it’s sort of like a Jester but only Kewler & not derogatory at all.
basically, this Position is meant for someone funny & @SVRPRWN is HELLA FUNNY, YALLZ!

for those of you who are STILL In The Dark about this Phenoma…
let Queen Mama explain:
it’s an act, a persona.
it’s like Lady Gaga & Die Antwoord & Jack Parow.
for those of you who think those three performers are being serious… um…
the point is!
have fun conversing with @SVRPRWN & play along!
act completely serious because hermz’ is totals serious.
as serious as not being serious.

that is all.
follow @SVRPRWN for a UNIQUE Twitter Experience.

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Tale of The Herbz & someothermatters

right, so, The Royal Banquet just happened in Queendom – a lovely beef stew with peppers, green beans, avo & chutney was had by all Euphorians.
it was yumcious BUT now The Queen is perplexed.

in an effort to return to her Once Healthy Ways, The Queen decided not to munch on any Junk.
it worked out quite well & she felt a teeny tiny better than usual but now, after Dinner, The Queen is still hungry after a full bowl of food.
does she wait 20 minutes for Her Brain to register that she is satisfied or does she simply have a worm inside her belly munching&crunching all of her nummiez?

the thought of worms in my stomach officially grossed me out to the Stretches of Eternity.
holy goodness.

that was ALL besides the point.
the point is that The Queen is listening to Tycho, a daaarling Musical Outfit.
it’s electro ambience & it has helped me be a better Queen in oh so many ways.
Boards Of Canada & Tycho will always remain two of The Queen’s favez.
that’s just how she rolls.

This Inscription deals with many matters.
the first being:

The Matter of Plants as Intelligent Lifeforms.

Euphorian @m0zase commented that my talking about plants & such is very “arb”.
in most cases plants aren’t of the Highest Interest Ranking but in Queendom, Herbal Residents, or Herbz [not to be confused with human herbs [note, lower case]], as they more commonly referred to, are of the Most Important inhabitants.

Herbz make Queendom beautiful & aromatic.
over a billion Herbz can be found in Queendom.
The Queen & Euphorians alike have immense respect for Herbz & do dances each morning to offer their gratitude.
these are called Dawn Discos.

you see, there are three kinds of Herbz – those that offer themselves to be eaten by Euphorians [thus, The Dancing & gratitude], those that exist purely for Beauty Purposes & the Production Assistance Concerning Honey [thus, The Dancing & gratitude] & those who are foul & just muck other Herbz up.
the latter are known as Mean Greeniez.
Mean Greeniez reside in The Tjoekie to further irritate Imbeciles in their One-Hour Stays.

today, though, The Queen became painfully aware of just HOW ALIVE Herbz really are.
winkwink, @TheFilmo.
Herbz reside in a very weird “Density Arrangement” – their existence is conducted in Immensely Dense Earth & also, Less Dense Air but still Dense Because Of Gravity.
see, they live in a COMPLETE other dimensional frequency, so, while you may think in your silly human form that “oh, look, a pretty flower” that flower is actually performing Activities Of Life [eating, drinking &… get ready for this… even SINGING].
that is one of the reasons, besides being visually pleasing & great smell-wise, that we are so attracted to the idea of Flowers.
The Queen has actually experienced Floral Herbz sing…

do yourself a favour, Euphorian, & get up at Dawn… have a Dawn Disco & then calm yourself.
situate yourself in a Meditative Position & just concentrate on the Universal Vibrations.
you WILL hear the Floral Herbz singing a song ESPECIALLY for you.
it is QUITE fantastical & no, no drahgz are needed for this operation.
only a Clear Consciousness [not the same as conscience] & a will to participate in The Universal Form.

that’s the thing with humans [note, lower case] – they are utterly & completely STUPIDLY oblivious to the FANFUCKINGTASTICAL MAGIC happening ALL AROUND them CONSTANTLY.
that’s why lizdom became The Queen of Queendom because she’d rather live in her Magical Wonderland than associate with humans on such an effing retarded level.

humans ARE welcome in Queendom, though.
the moment that they #besef their Position In The Universe & thus, Act Accordingly.
once again, it basically comes down to #moenieipoesweesnie.
when this transition is made, said human becomes known as an Euphorian & a resident of Queendom.

another matter that needs attending is that of Vitamin Water.
The Queen is absolutely appalled by the mere idea of it.
in this very Moment In Time The Queen is Unconvinced that Vitamin Water might be anything more than glorified cooldrink.
BUT according to a couple of Euphorians, Vitamin Water ACTUALLY contains some Health Properties, so, in an attempt to become As Healthy As Can Be, The Queen will be conducting an experiment on said Product.

i will be consuming one Container of Vitamin Water a day, each day trying a different one, for two weeks.
i will combine this with eating healthily too.
after this stint i will eat exactly as before but only replace the Vit W with regular water.
i will record every detail & Write About It in a month’s Time.

another exciting event in Queendom is that of a Euphorian who undertook a Mission in recording the effects of a specific strain of Herbz [the happy-inducing kind].
this will also Be Written About in the very near future.

that is all from Queendom this day.
excuse me while i lose myself in some Tycho.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Matter of Lady Gaga

I’m listening to t.a.T.u.
don’t effing laugh.
you dug ‘em too &, to be QUITE honest, it’s still a sound Queendom enjoys hearing.
remember the first time you saw them on MTV?
these Russians In School-Girl Outfits, Making Out In The Rain?
it was gosh-darn hawt & Queen Lizdom approved.

maybe it’s because The Queen read a book as a child… Wicked or something… & the soundtrack to the book was Above Mentioned.
it was a sooper koel book.
Association Madness!!!

it’s just a weird mesh-up of radness.
it’s a pity they didn’t last & their lezbonezz turned out to be a gimmick.
ugh at record labels.


The Queen wants to chit-chat about Lady Gaga.
Lady, indeed!
this is her position in Queendom but it’s only a title – it means effoll.
just like the title “Queen” also, in reality, means effol.

this is a woman SO dear to the Queen’s Blood-Pumping Heart.
Lungs-close, you could say.
the Pop Music Industry in human terms [note, lower case] went through a severe “ugh phase”.
everything The Monster churned out was kak.
well, mainstream, anyway – the underground was booming.

& THIS is exactomondo where Lady Gaga saw her gap.
she fuckin’ zoned in on that shit & coined it.
if The Queen is not mistaken, good ol’ Gags can afford to BUY Queendom but Gags & The Queen are good buds, so she won’t.

aaanywho. onwards!

Lady Gaga FIGURED OUT FAME, y’all!!!
how fuckin’ koo-koo is that?!
it’s a formula, see.
basically it’s [brace yourself, secret alert] realising WHO you are, BEING WHO YOU ARE, & DOING what YOU’RE GOOD AT at an exceptionally high Level Of Aesthetics.

for example: no one likes anything ugly BUT ugly can be beautiful when you change its context & deliver it unto a viewing public extremely polished.
like, if whatever you’re delivering contains flaws… don’t let the viewing public realise it!
be the biggest trickster, pretender, actor/actress that ever graced the Face Of Earth.

i mean, Lady Gaga started out quite modestly – gearing up for gritty, sweaty shows, lugging her own equipment, making her own outfits, etc.
BUT she quickly figured out that if she wanted to bring back The Superfan, as she calls it, she had to become Larger Than Life.

& this is what she did.
she got all her buds together & founded the Haus Of Gaga, a fashion haus dedicated to conjuring up the Lady’s Fantastical Gear.
in fact, the whole Lady Gaga Empire is one of Collaboration Between Artists – she also figured out that while doing everything on your own might ensure a sound, unique vision; it isn’t really fun at all.
by collaborating with artists CONSTANTLY she’s “giving everyone a voice”, a PLATFORM where they can exhibit their OWN work.

right, so, MUSIC!

The Other Day, Katy Perry stated something along the lines of “when you reeeally listen to Gags’ lyrics, they actually DO mean something.”
no duh, Katy, you Imbecile.
Imbeciles are condemned to The Tjoekie for an hour every day – there they are forced to watch intellectual programs on loop.
The Queen does not tolerate stupidity.
ANYWAY! [those are the things that upset me [via Mad Hatter]]
Gags’ lyrics are about an underground culture… a lifestyle… where everything is a beautiful mess & you’re just going with it.
her rhyming skillz TOTALS catapulted her into the POP SCENE.
&&&… guess what? it’s what she intended.

she wanted to be a rockstar & how does one become in this day & age?
certainly not by gigging a lot, boozing it up, hittin’ the drahgz or fucking groupies.
those are all things that symbolised the VINTAGE Rock ‘n Roller.
these days everything is so saturated that you can pretty much drive naked & no one would give a shit.
Pop Culture.
this is where “rockstars” are born, these days.
Gags’ noted this & embarked on her mission.

Lady Gaga isn’t just any old “pop star”.
she’s a fuckin’ Phenoma & you better fuckin’ realise it.
she’s here to stay.

on a completely Unrelated Note:
Pablo a.k.a. @iaminsert got knighted about an hour ago.
it is because he displayed extreme intelligence.
he will be known, from now on, as Sir Pablo.

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Tale of Myspace [via Old Skool]

Queen Lizdom has been on the webbernet for as long as she can remember.
let’s say 14 for good measure.
it all started with – Queendom was going through a Gothic Phase.
it lasted for a year until Queen Lizdom suddenly realised, one night at Zeplin’s where a mile-high Goth Girl with Fuckin’ Amazeballs Hair [Maxi, if i do recall correctly] tried to kiss her, that she, in fact was not a Goth at all.

Queen Lizdom very quickly forgot all about because the next Phase of Social Networking had already started latching onto The Outcasts.

anyone & everyone who was apart of This Phase will agree with The Queen:
myspace was the gateway to a lot of FREAKIN’ AWESOME!
this is where Queendom founded its base.

Queen Lizdom was known by various Screen Names:
Liz of the Urth, Liz of Boosh, That Bitch, Liz, etc.
those were the most memorable – you may recall, you may not.
myspace also birthed The Queen’s VERY first username – lizlovescheese.
it’s dubbelsinnig.
dink daaroor.

Queen Lizdom remembers crushing on every single Scene Boy With THAT Hair.
holy fuck.
also, i found boys kissing boys [in the scene sense] extremely turn-on-ish.
it was a trend & i fuckin’ loved it.

who remembers that GIF? yes, THAT one?


Liz of the Urth dated a boy who lived in London for 6 months but because we never saw each other, we cut it short.
The Queen also dated a skater boy from Durban for another 6 months – we spoke on the phone, every day, for an hour.
it was beautiful but it didn’t work out, also, because of Distance Reasons.

The Queen THEN met PJ Kotze… i can’t remember his screen name at the time…
anyway, PJ was from a band called the Havoc Vultures & I fuckin’ DUG this band.
on a Hangout Occasion at Kung Fu Kitchen [see, all Adventures DO start with Chinese Nummies!] i first laid eyes on The Man That Would Father My Child & Current BF For Life.
i found him very odd, initially.
he kept stacking the little bowls onto each other & balanced chopsticks on top of it.
after Chinese Nummies we headed to The Havoc Nest – you HAVE to remember this!
Havoc Nest Parties were THE FUCKIN’ SHIT!
everyone got mad drunk/high & partied the eff out of that little meenthuisie!
i passed out in KOOS’ bed, on purpose, a couple of times but he was completely oblivious to my Advances.
i was on the verge of giving up WHEN our Mutual Dislike for FotoNaDans lead us to kiss.
it was beautiful.

this Myspace Era also introduced me to a couple of other Darlings who i only got to know once this Era passed:
spinelli venter [@nannaventer], Funk-Punk Ben [@Ben_Rausch], Casioheart [@casioheart], Flikkerr, pietskiet, 6-sixty, Cheesepaste, Flash In The Pan, etc.

SO, right now i’m listening to Zolof & The Rock ‘n Roll Destroyer & reminiscing about Myspace Music.
this used to be the highlight of each School-Suckfested-Day – getting to The Castle & fucking out to whatever Gem i found that Day.
it was QUITE magical.
i discovered bands like Boards Of Canada <3, Tycho <3, Aphex Twin <3, Say Hi To Your Mom <3, Something Corporate, Locust Toybox, Tsunami Bomb, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Postal Service, Pinback, Head Automatica, I Am Ghost, Halifax, Great Churn, Deathstarts, Type O Negative & a fuckload more.

it was like Wonderland on Acid.

BUT, here i am, this eve, tweeting the shit out of twitter.
twitter is the new myspace & although it is PERFECT for this day & age The Queen must admit… she misses myspace.
a LOT.

i love you myspace – RIP, Rockin’ From 2004 – 2007.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Tale of The Milkshake Man

it’s the Day of Sx2 – everyone in Queendom is having a well-deserved rest after a yumcious Royal Banquet.
Queen Lizdom is situated in the Tower Of Dreams – her favourite & best location to have a chill.
the soundtrack to this Moment is a Mixed CD i made in 2005 & i won’t lie…
i’m about to weep.

every Euphorian has a Mixed CD that he/she WILL NOT PART WITH.
this is mine.
every single song gives me that feeling where your heart feels like it’s about to burst & you feel like you want to cry but also run full speed down a tar path in the crushing rain.

Musical Orgasm.

Something Corporate.


it’s past the time of Tea&Cake but Queen Lizdom didn’t want to discuss this matter with Euphorians.
she wanted to tell the TALE.
“there’s a big difference between telling a story & having a debate.” – Queen Lizdom.
don’t laugh.
ponder that quote for a moment.
kay, move on.

The Milkshake Man.

this Euphorian used to NOT be a Milkshake Man.
before Tragedy Struck he used to be a strapping young lad with much promise of Benefit.
he was young, very handsome & hella funny.
he also HATED milkshakes.

Queendom’s Drink Of Choice is milkshakes.
SO, Mada Rehgallag, the Identity of the Euphorian, wasn’t very much liked despite his pleasant demeanour otherwise.
you see, Euphorians aren’t unreasonable & won’t condemn another just because they differ in taste.
Mada Rehgallag used to display Tendencies of Psychosis – he’d be his usual, pretty awesome self but he’d snap when smelled, felt, tasted or heard a milkshake [yes, in Queendom you can HEAR milkshakes].
he’d fill your Transportation Device to the brim with milkshake or he’d replace your Toothpaste with the Substance.
he’d put it in your mouth while you’re sleeping or he’d put some in your underwear.

THE POINT IS, Mada Rehgallag was fuckin’ weird when it came to milkshakes.

SO, Once Upon A Time the Euphorians of Queendom decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Mada Rehgallag ought to be punished & SEVERELY.
that evening, when the moon was a deep yellow colour, Euphorians set up a a midnight forest meeting between him & a Beautiful Girl.
there was no Girl.

Rehgallag was met by 10 Euphorians & a shitload of milkshakes…

no one really knows what happened on That Fateful Night but one thing is for sure… Rehgallag was never the same.
he is now a 6 foot Milkshake with Milkshake Legs & Milkshake Arms.
& he LOVES milkshakes.
it’s all a bit eerie, if you ask Queen Lizdom.

because Mada Rehgallag no longer responds to anything regarding his previous Euphorian Life, Queen Lizdom saw fit to give him the task of Milkshake Provision.
this turned out to be the most fantastical position for the Milkshake Man as he is also obsessed with the number 10 000 000.
another remnant of That Fateful Evening.
we don’t question it.
luckily that’s exactly the number of Euphorians currently living in the Queendom Castle.
yes, Queendom Castle is FUCKIN’ HUGEASS.

so, that’s that.
The Milkshake Man is whack & so are we.
we love his milkshakes & he loves us for it.
he’s a bit like vegetable now but we adore him anyway.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The Tale OF THE 3 Day Snorcity Adventure

it has been a confusing couple of days in Queendom.
i, Queen Lizdom, was feeling out of sorts.
neither here nor there or anywhere.
Queendom was functioning but barely as Queendom needs a Dreamer.
a Dreamer is an enitity who dreams all day & all night – ideals, constantly.
that no. uno Dreamer, Queen Lizdom, was Confused.

when a Dreamer is Confused their whole reality, Queendom & other Euphorians’ realities turn into one Huge Jumble.
a Huge Jumble is not something to strive for as it affects your emotions & thus transforms you into a Demon.

the line between Demon & Euphorian is one of of extreme delicacy.
a Euphorian may become a Demon from time to time but the transition back to Euphorian is very simple.


so, i was confused & not feeling too fantastical, obviously.
we headed to Snorcity, Queen Lizdom’s HomeTown in Queendom, on W-day in search of some Fun In The Sun.

one our way there i fucked out to Carcass.
it was an epic moment in my life.

RIGHT! we get to our Destination!
KOOS & RUDI, The Eternal Philosophers, had a MASSDEBATE to attend.
@adoneandthesky & Queen Lizdom shoot for the Theater Room where they chose to watch Clash Of The Titans.
a film.

this film was quite average, #tbh.
i liked Medusa – she was a kickass woman - & I dug the Djin.

the Djin were fuckin’ cool just because you don’t know what the fuck is up with those dudes.

Queen Lizdom was #unimpressed by the Greek Gods.
severely #unimpressed.
SCENARIO: “majestic gods”, armour, SHINY armour, not very strong-looking, a floor made out of a top-view of Earth, standing in a lame circle.
#ugh at the gods.
really, you guys, just… nee.

SO! fast forward!
@adone&thesky & Queen Lizdom order some Milkshakes from The Milkshake Man – a full post on this whacko, next.

we head on over to @adoneandthesky’s pad where we meet up with @iaminsert.
we chill.
we THEN play Super Sneaky Spies where we snuck onto a Spaceship Rooftop.


enter Tings ‘n Times – a merry-making place for The Young Of Heart.

some serious chillage went down.
Queen Lizdom got to converse with @lizetheunicorn, @Ninavanibos, @DaaiTheo @skillieskil around a lovely, atmospheric table in the fresh night air.

an idea Dreamed Up at this table is that of #socialawareness & #moenieipoesweesnie.
basically, everything in the Universe works perfectly ALL THE FUCKING TIME, so, you, as Euphorian, just need to #besef your Position In The Universe & Act Accordingly.
everyone needs to chill the eff out & be aware of what/who is going on around them & act like “hoe jou ma jou geleer het”.
the summary of this whole paragraph?


KOOS & Queen Lizdom enter #Lizeland where @lizetheunicorn was hosting a Secret Farewell Partytjie for @Ninavanibos.
there Queen Lizdom was mostly taking care of FENRIS – a full post on The Royal Egg to follow – but she got to see @iaminsert, @belindametb, @NatalieRoos, @wrestlerish, @ryan_fray, @DaaiTheo & a whole lot of other Euphorians who do not care for twitter.

kay, the day of F KOOS & Queen Lizdom attend KATE’S birthday #gettogether.
it was absolutely darling.
exactly like her.
we drank wine, we laughed, we drank wine, we laughed.
i had SERIOUS FOMO concerning the Pyjama Drama goin’ down at @roxymaritz2 & @nannaventer’s pad, though.


poor @nannaventer was a bit comatose because of the Pyjama Drama Adventure but i simply HAD to see her face.
we dragged our hung over bottoms to a Chinese Joint where we dined like Queens.
also, joining us at this Event In Time was @Ben_Rausch & @matt_suttner.
Queen Lizdom was happy.
these three Euphorians are hella funny & i laughed myself silly.

after The Eatery we thrift Bounty Hunters.
Queen Lizdom found a glorious Floral-Print Short Overall - #chuffed.

i’m sitting on The Royal Bed now, kak moeg.
these 3 Days were pretty rad – tonight Queen Lizdom sleeps easy.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Matter of le Crush 100, teeheehee

excuse me, while i am writing this i, Queen of Lizdom, Queen of Queendom am watching Beauty & the Beast.
the part where there’s a singalong to celebrate Gaston’s manliness?
it’s TOO funny – like, the little guy sings something in admiration of Gaston’s testosterone-ness & just gets punched in the flippen face by Gaston instead.
it’s hiiighlarious.

BACK to Matters!

Te Matter of Le Crush 100.

Euphorians across Queendom have been confronted in some or other-wise way by a site that lists the 100 bestest/hottest/cutest/blahdeeblah SA Etertainment Boys.
This List is posted by a Euphorian who chooses to remain Anonymous.
this, Queen Lizdom finds quite amusing – this woman has achieved cult-like status by NOT proclaiming an identity but by being this Unmistakable Anonymous Female Online Presence judging hardcore who she thinks is worthy of a “fuck yeah”.
very cool move.

that’s all it is.
the stalker angle is very cunning, indeed.
like, i bet you all that she’s just a girl, like you or me or someone who is not a girl or something else.
she’s causing a stir – like @roxymaritz2 said – “she probably wants this reaction anyway.”
& by giving her what she wants – hype – we, in turn, create another Advertising Mechanism.

Le Crush 100 has achieved cult-like status.
that much cannot be denied, says the Court of The Queen.
Queen Lizdom has noted that it’s all the buzz amongst Euphorians In The Biz; so, #trendingtopic-wise it’s, like, almost at the top… SA materially-wise.
are you still with me?
re-read if that bit was confusing.

KAY! so!

say you are in the SA Entertainment Industry - & you’re a boy.
a talented boy, good-looking & just a dude.
THEN it is your goal, your mission in this part of your humanly existence [note; lower case] to pursue being PUT ON THAT LIST.

do you know why?
because it’s being read – by at least a Couple of Euphorians.

imagine the possibilities of This List for just a moment.
it’s quite phenomenal.
it’s The Infamous List of Rock ‘n Roll Hotties, SA-wise, Entertainment-wise.
like, the boys featured so far are pretty rock ‘n roll in whichever field they work in.
it’s the swagger.
Queen Lizdom actually approves of This List because it is very accurate in “Who’s Cool”.
it’s true – check it out.

THUS, boys of SA who are GOOD in their field [Queen Lizdom has no time for mediocrity], Queen Lizdom says to YOU – advertise yourself, fuck out, be a rockstar, proclaim your OWN FAME but don’t be a poes.
it’s that simple.
are you hearing me? it’s that simple & that flippen AMAAAZING!

Queen Lizdom gets side-tracked on GREAT scales.
but what I’m saying, Euphorians, is that Le Crush 100 isn’t a bad Event In Time.
QUITE the opposite, really – this girl is posting stuff, gooooood stuff about your boyfriend, your friend or just a boy you know from seeing him around.
it’s very good advertising if you really think about it in a Dirty Way.

like, isn’t Rock ‘n Roll about being sexy & just fuckin’ out?
it is, says Queen Lizdom.
so, this Groupie-Stalker-Band-Chick is just doing everyone a favour because, to be QUITE honest – this is the most “Fuck Yeah” Rock ‘n Roll Promotional Vehicle i’ve encountered since myspace days - & those days rocked.

Rock ‘n Roll, Sweet Ladies & Dashing Boys, can apply to anything – it’s a Lifestyle.
it’s the way you freak out to a song, it’s the way you laugh yourself sick at something & it’s the way you just chill the eff out with everything & everyone.
&, most importantly, it’s the way you do the simple things.

in Conclusion,
Queen Lizdom is freaking out to Justice – Stress.
very Doom 95.

basically, use it, don’t use it.
Queen Lizdom thinks this is pretty good advice for SA Entertainment Boys.
figure out How To Get On The List Without Being A Poes.
Mission, complete – next step, Catapult into Even More Superstardom.

the sigh of a very happy Queen.
Euphorians have so much potential.

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Matter of Die Antwoord

kay, Die Antwoord.
KAK or Super Genius?

today, at the daily Tea&Cake meeting, Queen Lizdom asked Euphorians across Queendom what they honestly thought of this phenomena & got quite the mixed response.

some Euphorians appeared as if they were about to vom at the thought & some were pretty amped about these People.

in human terms, Queen Lizdom & a handful of Euphorians, in the Universe Sceme of Things, function materially in South Africa, Africa, Earth.
in human terms Euphorians & Queen Lizdom, alike, are referred to as kids.
this is because kids are awesome & who the fuck wants to be known as something older than a kid?

SO, the kids of South Africa are divided.
Euphorians known as @captbyron, @swimlittlefish & @tatibble were part of Team Nay.
@tatibble summed up the team’s opinion by stating “I find them insulting – this is what foreigners now think of us and this is who represents us? No thank you.”

Queen Lizdom allows every Euphorian his/her opinion & is delighted that there is a strong dislike for Die Antwoord, in some cases.
balance is very important in the Cosmic Manifestation & a Team Nay keeps the balance in This Matter.

however, isn’t it all too apparent that Die Antwoord is starting to capitalize on a well-thought-out gimmick?
are there Euphorians out there who are under the impression that this Zef Image is more than an image?
if so, i believe you are terribly mistaken.

another Euphorian, @naswho, had another opinion & stated “Liked them cos I enjoyed something 'new'. I liked the rhymes, the beats and the irony. Also I love when musiek uses marketing.”

@naswho has hit the nail on the head with his statement – Die Antwoord has employed various marketing tactics, one of them being The Gimmick & another their Visual Image.

the other point which i, Queen Lizdom, would like to point out is something that @Franstasties proposed: “Die Antwoord are 2 things for me: An incredible theatrical production and an above-average-band.”

Queen Lizdom is VERY proud of you, @Franstasties!
see, this is what we’re seeing: An Act.
it’s like Lady Gaga, guys.
you know, Dressing In Character, Playing The Part.
one thing you can’t deny about Die Antwoord & Lady Gaga is that they’re FUCKING INTERESTING.
Queen Lizdom is immensely pleased about acts like these because it makes human existence [note; lower case] less kak.

do you know what they’re ACTUALLY doing?
they’re transforming POP – they’re killing it & making the underground, mainstream.
I vote “fuck yeah”.

& guess what else they have in common now?
Interscope Records, bebe!
this is a record label Queen Lizdom would like to sit down & kiss for a bit.
the Euphorians working at Interscope Records are free thinkers, less conditioned than most humans & have BALLS.
i mean, until another, MORE epic record label gets birthed [winkwink] this is what we alternative souls have - & it’s not bad.
it’s not bad at all.

RIGHT! moving along!

Die Antwoord is super popular in the USA.
&, like @LizeU, a lot of folks are confused as to WHY.
well, let Queen Lizdom shed some light on the situation.
at this moment in time Europeans are either busy being pretentious, vain or elitist.
not ALL, but definitely The Decision Makers.
this isn’t a bad thing because, like I stated, this balance is needed.
Europeans are also in another Cycle of Entertainment.
Americanos, on the other hand, are in the mood for some fun - & that’s what Die Antwoord is.
sometimes, Euphorians, you’re allowed to be totals stupid.
stupid in a “fuck, i’m 20something & not about to retire” way.
the Gaga Phenomena is an example of this.

BUT, who cares if you like or dislike Die Antwoord?
they’re a band, an act.
you’re a Euphorian in the Cosmic Manifestation.
just remember, kids, you might be from South Africa, Africa, Earth in human terms [note; lower case] but in the Cosmic Manifestation the term “South Africa” means very little.

SO, to those who are embarrassed by Die Antwoord – they’re not directly affecting your reality, are they?
Seether is another band who functions under International Recognition & they’re not that great, are they?

these are all the opinions of Queen Lizdom, Queen of Queendom.
you may agree or disagree.
the point of this whole post, however, is that This Matter isn’t at all that serious.
like what you like, dislike what you dislike but, please, Euphorians, it’s not like we’re fighting The Last Piece of Sushi.

“moenie sulke serious goed praat nie… praat fun goed.” – Yolandi Vi$$er

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Adventure of The Party in the SKY

it started with some Chinese Nummies.
doesn’t most things?

now, in Queendom, the Euphorians are not just a collective race with little identity.
QUITE, the contrary; you see, because each Euphorian is delightfully different from another.
they have names, these Euphorians.

Euphorians are either known by their Twitter Username OR, alternatively, if said Euphorian does not care for Twitter, simply by first name & in all upper case.
i.e. KOOS.

KOOS was one of the Euphorians who accompanied Queen Lizdom on her adventure.
KOOS is a pretty valued Euphorian as he is romantically linked to Queen Lizdom.
another Euphorian, who we met for some Chinese Nummies, is known as @adoneandthesky.

do you see what happened there? everyone is equally important in Queendom, so, even though KOOS does not show an interest in Twitter, like Queen Lizdom [@wordsoflizdom] & @adoneandthesky, he gets elevated to the same platform via upper case lettering.
it’s simple.

SO, onwards!

bellies satisfied & brimming with excitement we made our way to adoneandthesky’s pad.
there Queen Lizdom dressed & @adoneandthesky helped her cut some holes into her tights.
it was going to be a super fantastical evening in Queendom…

we arrive to SKY.
@roxymaritz2 was the first to meet&greet Queen Lizdom by a splendid embrace & the words “liz! we’re partying in the sky tonight”.
these words were a superb intro to the festivities to follow.

Fast Forward!

we’re drunk & high.
on happiness, of course.
enter the DANCEFLOOR… it was time!

@HAEZER proceeded to reduce our bodies into Dancing Zombie Fashionistas.
there is no other way of describing it.
dancing isn’t about looking pretty.
in fact, it’s about forgetting who you are, body-wise, completely.

so there we were: spirit souls. DANCING under the stars, hiiigh in the SKY.

many Euphorians joined us in our Glorious Adventure:
@Henry_Boardman & a Dancing Partner displayed excellent dancing propensities by teaching Us all what “sex on the dancefloor” is all about.
it was rough. it was beautiful.

@iaminsert, @roxymaritz2, @Waldorph2000, BIANCA & @Japanesefoot were some of the awesome Dancing Partners @adoneandthesky & Queen Lizdom had the priviledge to Lose Their Brains with.

now, Music-wise.
@HAEZER owned it.
completely & everforevermore.
Queen Lizdom, Queen of Queendom was VERY displeased with the @Cyberpunkers.
for an international act they were pretty shitty.
the beats are monotonous, the “moments” predictable & their stage personas… um.
not impressed.
so, basically, @HAEZER killed @Cyberpunkers.
well done, Euphorian @HAEZER, says Queen Lizdom.

another highlight of the evening worth mentioning was meeting Euphorians off THE WEB.
“it’s just fantastic putting faces to tiny avatars.” – Queen Lizdom
Queen Lizdom met @belindametb, @iaminsert, @donmulto &&& @DaaiTheo, all in one night!
i was a very happy Queen.

ECSTATIC, our evening ended at a morning hour.
we satisfied our MUNCHIES & proceeded back to our Castle.

just before we undertook our #lalaland Mission we swallowed some Magical Anti-Hangover.
Queens will not suffer hangovers. EVER.
Queen Lizdom’s head hit her Cloud.
& she woke up the next morning… feeling super.

Friday, May 7, 2010


this is a phenomenal moment in blogging history because, i, Lizdom have started a blog of my very own.

as i am writing this i am enveloped by the sweet insanity of Alice In Wonderland, the Disney version.
any other version just cannot compare – the style, the swag, the script, the dialogue, the PURE INSANITY – it is simply genius.

a question that has been stuck in my head since the very first time i allowed myself to enjoy the mad pleasures this film provides is one Absalom, The Caterpillar, posed: “whooo R uuu?”.

now, let it be known that, in my opinion, a caterpillar’s words are as good as any.
well, QUITE honestly, i’d rather listen to a caterpillar than most.

SO, who am i?
i can tell you who i am in human terms.
i am liz dom [note; lower case], a student of Fine Arts, a Mom & I have a BF who, i think, might be a genius or a loon [either/or].
it is lovely being me but i am somehow inclined to think of my life in fantasy terms.

can i tell you a secret?
i AM a loon.
i am Lizdom [note; upper case] & i live in a castle.
i have many pink animals that my Lab RATS have genetically manipulated to remain small & baby-like everforevermore.
i speak a language called “EH?” & i write many diaries in this language.
i write a diary for me & for you; for you & me & everyone, together.
the capital letter “I” has been banned from EH? because i absolutely despise the appearance of it.
i live in a place called Queendom where i am Queen.
i am a nice Queen – the only requirement i have is that the inhabitants of Queendom MUST have a glorious time.

the activities of Queendom inhabitants are extremely inspirational.
there is not a useless compact of matter in sight.
everyone has a job & they enjoy their jobs to ecstatic extents.
in fact, everyone in Queendom is always “high” – might I state, not because of Drugzzz but because the atmosphere is of such a calibre that every living entity coming into contact with it instantly becomes euphoric beyond comprehension.
this is my idea of bliss – enjoyment & euphoria.
the inhabitants of Queendom, should you have been wondering, are called Euphorians.
no duh, there.

Lizdom is still an artist in Queendom, but, an artist of epic, magical proportions.
events, for instance, which happen in human circumstances are converted into great Adventures in Queendom.
Euphorians undertake colossal Adventures every. single. day.
it’s just how they roll.

thus, Euphorians are very interesting people.
they know many things about many matters & are, most obviously, very intelligent.
Queen Lizdom displays emotions of immense distaste at stupidity.
it’s just how it is.
every day, at 4PM, CQT [Central Queendom Time], everyone gathers in the Communal Garden for Tea&Cake.
this is, quite honestly, a darling affair where Euphorians & Queen Lizdom alike discuss everything that is, was & will be Absolutely Amazing.
this is why Queendom is such a spectacular place – Communication is a valued tool & all inhabitants use it to its fullest potential to further the Quality of Life in Queendom.

Quality of Life is very important in Queendom & only the best of the best of the best is available, in EVERY respect.
so, even though Queen Lizdom is chosen Queen of Queendom, everyone, in all practicality, is a potential “Queen” because everyone’s so darn fabulous.

being elevated to “Queen-like” status is the utmost achievement, whether you are male or female.
there are no kings, only Queens.
Queens are fabulous.

speaking of the word “fabulous” – Euphorians are fantastically stylish.
effortlessly so.
Euphorians rate highly on physical appearance.
we believe “one’s appearance conveys a lot about one’s mental situation.”

there are many more things that happen in Queendom to Euphorians & Queen Lizdom of Queendom but you will have to follow this blog to find out what they are.

SO, to conclude… “whooo rrr UUU?” – i am merely liz.
a girl living in the AGE OF BACKWARDS.
who are YOU?

Queen Lizdom & The Euphorians are attending The Dogbox Rooftop Party at the time of day where The Sun takes its slumber.
an account of The Adventure will be included in the next instalment of wordsofLIZDOM.

“we live in the AGE OF BACKWARDS & there everything is a slightly psychotic party.”