Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Tale of The Milkshake Man

it’s the Day of Sx2 – everyone in Queendom is having a well-deserved rest after a yumcious Royal Banquet.
Queen Lizdom is situated in the Tower Of Dreams – her favourite & best location to have a chill.
the soundtrack to this Moment is a Mixed CD i made in 2005 & i won’t lie…
i’m about to weep.

every Euphorian has a Mixed CD that he/she WILL NOT PART WITH.
this is mine.
every single song gives me that feeling where your heart feels like it’s about to burst & you feel like you want to cry but also run full speed down a tar path in the crushing rain.

Musical Orgasm.

Something Corporate.


it’s past the time of Tea&Cake but Queen Lizdom didn’t want to discuss this matter with Euphorians.
she wanted to tell the TALE.
“there’s a big difference between telling a story & having a debate.” – Queen Lizdom.
don’t laugh.
ponder that quote for a moment.
kay, move on.

The Milkshake Man.

this Euphorian used to NOT be a Milkshake Man.
before Tragedy Struck he used to be a strapping young lad with much promise of Benefit.
he was young, very handsome & hella funny.
he also HATED milkshakes.

Queendom’s Drink Of Choice is milkshakes.
SO, Mada Rehgallag, the Identity of the Euphorian, wasn’t very much liked despite his pleasant demeanour otherwise.
you see, Euphorians aren’t unreasonable & won’t condemn another just because they differ in taste.
Mada Rehgallag used to display Tendencies of Psychosis – he’d be his usual, pretty awesome self but he’d snap when smelled, felt, tasted or heard a milkshake [yes, in Queendom you can HEAR milkshakes].
he’d fill your Transportation Device to the brim with milkshake or he’d replace your Toothpaste with the Substance.
he’d put it in your mouth while you’re sleeping or he’d put some in your underwear.

THE POINT IS, Mada Rehgallag was fuckin’ weird when it came to milkshakes.

SO, Once Upon A Time the Euphorians of Queendom decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Mada Rehgallag ought to be punished & SEVERELY.
that evening, when the moon was a deep yellow colour, Euphorians set up a a midnight forest meeting between him & a Beautiful Girl.
there was no Girl.

Rehgallag was met by 10 Euphorians & a shitload of milkshakes…

no one really knows what happened on That Fateful Night but one thing is for sure… Rehgallag was never the same.
he is now a 6 foot Milkshake with Milkshake Legs & Milkshake Arms.
& he LOVES milkshakes.
it’s all a bit eerie, if you ask Queen Lizdom.

because Mada Rehgallag no longer responds to anything regarding his previous Euphorian Life, Queen Lizdom saw fit to give him the task of Milkshake Provision.
this turned out to be the most fantastical position for the Milkshake Man as he is also obsessed with the number 10 000 000.
another remnant of That Fateful Evening.
we don’t question it.
luckily that’s exactly the number of Euphorians currently living in the Queendom Castle.
yes, Queendom Castle is FUCKIN’ HUGEASS.

so, that’s that.
The Milkshake Man is whack & so are we.
we love his milkshakes & he loves us for it.
he’s a bit like vegetable now but we adore him anyway.

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