The Matter of Lady Gaga

I’m listening to t.a.T.u.
don’t effing laugh.
you dug ‘em too &, to be QUITE honest, it’s still a sound Queendom enjoys hearing.
remember the first time you saw them on MTV?
these Russians In School-Girl Outfits, Making Out In The Rain?
it was gosh-darn hawt & Queen Lizdom approved.

maybe it’s because The Queen read a book as a child… Wicked or something… & the soundtrack to the book was Above Mentioned.
it was a sooper koel book.
Association Madness!!!

it’s just a weird mesh-up of radness.
it’s a pity they didn’t last & their lezbonezz turned out to be a gimmick.
ugh at record labels.

anyway!

The Queen wants to chit-chat about Lady Gaga.
Lady, indeed!
this is her position in Queendom but it’s only a title – it means effoll.
just like the title “Queen” also, in reality, means effol.

this is a woman SO dear to the Queen’s Blood-Pumping Heart.
Lungs-close, you could say.
the Pop Music Industry in human terms [note, lower case] went through a severe “ugh phase”.
everything The Monster churned out was kak.
well, mainstream, anyway – the underground was booming.

& THIS is exactomondo where Lady Gaga saw her gap.
she fuckin’ zoned in on that shit & coined it.
BIG TIME.
if The Queen is not mistaken, good ol’ Gags can afford to BUY Queendom but Gags & The Queen are good buds, so she won’t.

aaanywho. onwards!

Lady Gaga FIGURED OUT FAME, y’all!!!
how fuckin’ koo-koo is that?!
it’s a formula, see.
basically it’s [brace yourself, secret alert] realising WHO you are, BEING WHO YOU ARE, & DOING what YOU’RE GOOD AT at an exceptionally high Level Of Aesthetics.

for example: no one likes anything ugly BUT ugly can be beautiful when you change its context & deliver it unto a viewing public extremely polished.
like, if whatever you’re delivering contains flaws… don’t let the viewing public realise it!
be the biggest trickster, pretender, actor/actress that ever graced the Face Of Earth.

i mean, Lady Gaga started out quite modestly – gearing up for gritty, sweaty shows, lugging her own equipment, making her own outfits, etc.
BUT she quickly figured out that if she wanted to bring back The Superfan, as she calls it, she had to become Larger Than Life.

& this is what she did.
she got all her buds together & founded the Haus Of Gaga, a fashion haus dedicated to conjuring up the Lady’s Fantastical Gear.
in fact, the whole Lady Gaga Empire is one of Collaboration Between Artists – she also figured out that while doing everything on your own might ensure a sound, unique vision; it isn’t really fun at all.
by collaborating with artists CONSTANTLY she’s “giving everyone a voice”, a PLATFORM where they can exhibit their OWN work.

right, so, MUSIC!

The Other Day, Katy Perry stated something along the lines of “when you reeeally listen to Gags’ lyrics, they actually DO mean something.”
no duh, Katy, you Imbecile.
Imbeciles are condemned to The Tjoekie for an hour every day – there they are forced to watch intellectual programs on loop.
The Queen does not tolerate stupidity.
ANYWAY! [those are the things that upset me [via Mad Hatter]]
Gags’ lyrics are about an underground culture… a lifestyle… where everything is a beautiful mess & you’re just going with it.
her rhyming skillz TOTALS catapulted her into the POP SCENE.
&&&… guess what? it’s what she intended.

she wanted to be a rockstar & how does one become in this day & age?
certainly not by gigging a lot, boozing it up, hittin’ the drahgz or fucking groupies.
those are all things that symbolised the VINTAGE Rock ‘n Roller.
these days everything is so saturated that you can pretty much drive naked & no one would give a shit.
Pop Culture.
this is where “rockstars” are born, these days.
Gags’ noted this & embarked on her mission.

Lady Gaga isn’t just any old “pop star”.
she’s a fuckin’ Phenoma & you better fuckin’ realise it.
she’s here to stay.

on a completely Unrelated Note:
Pablo a.k.a. @iaminsert got knighted about an hour ago.
it is because he displayed extreme intelligence.
he will be known, from now on, as Sir Pablo.

The Tale of Myspace [via Old Skool]

Queen Lizdom has been on the webbernet for as long as she can remember.
let’s say 14 for good measure.
it all started with vampirefreaks.com – Queendom was going through a Gothic Phase.
it lasted for a year until Queen Lizdom suddenly realised, one night at Zeplin’s where a mile-high Goth Girl with Fuckin’ Amazeballs Hair [Maxi, if i do recall correctly] tried to kiss her, that she, in fact was not a Goth at all.

Queen Lizdom very quickly forgot all about vampirefreaks.com because the next Phase of Social Networking had already started latching onto The Outcasts.
myspace.com

anyone & everyone who was apart of This Phase will agree with The Queen:
myspace was the gateway to a lot of FREAKIN’ AWESOME!
this is where Queendom founded its base.

Queen Lizdom was known by various Screen Names:
Liz of the Urth, Liz of Boosh, That Bitch, Liz, etc.
those were the most memorable – you may recall, you may not.
myspace also birthed The Queen’s VERY first username – lizlovescheese.
YES.
it’s dubbelsinnig.
dink daaroor.

Queen Lizdom remembers crushing on every single Scene Boy With THAT Hair.
holy fuck.
also, i found boys kissing boys [in the scene sense] extremely turn-on-ish.
it was a trend & i fuckin’ loved it.

who remembers that GIF? yes, THAT one?
SO HOT.

aaanyway!

Liz of the Urth dated a boy who lived in London for 6 months but because we never saw each other, we cut it short.
The Queen also dated a skater boy from Durban for another 6 months – we spoke on the phone, every day, for an hour.
it was beautiful but it didn’t work out, also, because of Distance Reasons.

The Queen THEN met PJ Kotze… i can’t remember his screen name at the time…
anyway, PJ was from a band called the Havoc Vultures & I fuckin’ DUG this band.
on a Hangout Occasion at Kung Fu Kitchen [see, all Adventures DO start with Chinese Nummies!] i first laid eyes on The Man That Would Father My Child & Current BF For Life.
KOOS.
i found him very odd, initially.
he kept stacking the little bowls onto each other & balanced chopsticks on top of it.
after Chinese Nummies we headed to The Havoc Nest – you HAVE to remember this!
Havoc Nest Parties were THE FUCKIN’ SHIT!
everyone got mad drunk/high & partied the eff out of that little meenthuisie!
i passed out in KOOS’ bed, on purpose, a couple of times but he was completely oblivious to my Advances.
i was on the verge of giving up WHEN our Mutual Dislike for FotoNaDans lead us to kiss.
it was beautiful.

this Myspace Era also introduced me to a couple of other Darlings who i only got to know once this Era passed:
spinelli venter [@nannaventer], Funk-Punk Ben [@Ben_Rausch], Casioheart [@casioheart], Flikkerr, pietskiet, 6-sixty, Cheesepaste, Flash In The Pan, etc.

SO, right now i’m listening to Zolof & The Rock ‘n Roll Destroyer & reminiscing about Myspace Music.
this used to be the highlight of each School-Suckfested-Day – getting to The Castle & fucking out to whatever Gem i found that Day.
it was QUITE magical.
i discovered bands like Boards Of Canada <3, Tycho <3, Aphex Twin <3, Say Hi To Your Mom <3, Something Corporate, Locust Toybox, Tsunami Bomb, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Postal Service, Pinback, Head Automatica, I Am Ghost, Halifax, Great Churn, Deathstarts, Type O Negative & a fuckload more.

it was like Wonderland on Acid.
YES.

BUT, here i am, this eve, tweeting the shit out of twitter.
twitter is the new myspace & although it is PERFECT for this day & age The Queen must admit… she misses myspace.
a LOT.

i love you myspace – RIP, Rockin’ From 2004 – 2007.